You've seen them. Humanity tests before you can enter a website, like 2 + 2 or picking which squares have the traffic lights or crosswalks. Tests that supposedly verify you are not a robot. Well Breakable News, in its new, improved humanity poll has devised another surefire method to determine if someone is human or not. It's called the Donald Trump/Margery Taylor Greene Scale of Humanity or better known as the Frankenstein Monster Measures. It starts out with easy questions and toughens up from there. So grab a number 2 pencil or a piece of charcoal you just found on the ground outside your cave and answer the follow questions to determine where on the spectrum you fall.
Do you drink bleach to prevent coronavirus? If yes, you are NOT HUMAN.
Are you a member of QAnon or claim you haven't much heard about them? If yes, again you are NOT HUMAN.
Are you a member of a Neo Nazi white supremacist group? If yes, again, NOT HUMAN.
Do you believe Donald Trump will be inaugurated President on March 10? If yes, you are QAnon, and NOT HUMAN.
Do you believe Donald Trump is a savior here to track down and imprison Democrats, Hollywood elites, the Clintons, and RINOs who kidnap children, murder them, and then drink their blood in the name of Satan? Yes? NOT HUMAN.
So far, if you've answered any one of the above in the affirmative, you are NOT HUMAN. We urge you to not have any more children, and consider giving your present children up for adoption.
For those who have answered no or unsure to any of the above, please continue cautiously.
Do you believe Donald Trump should have been declared, along with 43 Republican Senators, not guilty in this last impeachment trial where he was accused of inciting the 1/6 insurgency at the Capitol? If yes, you are questionably HUMAN but are seriously headed towards the NON HUMAN end of the spectrum.
Do you in any way like or admire the views and behaviors of Rep. Margery Taylor Greene? If yes, you hit the maximum on the spectrum, aka The Frankenstein Extreme. Please call 911 and go, post haste, to the nearest mental hospital in your area.
Are you a Republican who likes and admires Rep. Jaime Herrera Beutler who, along with nine other colleagues in the House, voted for this second impeachment and who alerted the Senate trial of Trump's incriminating intentions and seditious motives? If yes, you are indeed HUMAN, and a credit to your party affiliation.
Are you a Democrat? If yes, you are absolutely HUMAN and can hereafter enter all websites, blogs, and other questions attesting to your humanity.
Were you involved in the riot at the Capitol on 1/6/21? If yes, you are NOT HUMAN. A bus is leaving the human race shortly. Be on it.
Breakable News thanks you for your patience and willingness to read this far. We would give you a medal, but in lieu of the fact that we have no medals to give, we wouldn't blame you if you didn't pass this test on to your friends or relatives who you wish weren't your friends or relatives because of the suspect views they revealed when you last spoke, received an email, or spotted a FB post or comment that revealed Non Human tendencies.
Disclaimer: This test has only been tested on dogs, cats, and koala bears thus far, all of whom tested as... HUMAN.
And...if we've offended anyone in the publication of this test, tough shit.
Anywho...we wish you, as always, the nicest of nice days, and know that we're not necessarily here for you, but we're not against you either. At any rate, hang in there and follow all CDC guidelines, including masks, social distancing, and vaccinations, unless you're an asshole who brags that disease and death "can't touch me."
And don’t consider yourself human if you think that Hillary Clinton is part of a pedophile ring hidden in the basement of a pizza parlor!